21 Lessons I Learned in 2021

Hitting 28 in 2022. Time really pass so fast.

It's sure a crazy year this year, and I felt this year has been the year of growth in terms of how I understand the relationship with myself and the people around me.

Here are the 21 lessons, takeaway or things I learned in 2021.

1. Walk for health but especially for the mind - We rush a lot in life; we have to get to the next spot; we have to see the next thing. Sometimes, have to stop, breathe and look back what have you have achieved so far.
2. Unmet expectation lead to disappointment - I expect so much from other people because I would do so much for other people, but that’s the most painful part - not everyone has the same heart. Moving forward, I need to stop setting expectation on things emotionally that lead to a false reality. Set expectation it logically.
3. Choose people who choose you - Forget fair-weathered people and go where your energy is reciprocated, celebrated and appreciated.
4. Stop scrolling  - Everyone spent so much time online than before, and sometimes, I found myself scrolling or looking at stories that has zero benefits for me but caused me a little anxiety; so I decided to deactivate my Instagram. However, I find myself in another pit hole with TikTok… but is a whole new platform and community that I find it useful (a story for another day!). Next step, Facebook. (sigh but I need Facebook for login to other apps... )
5. Motivation is a lie; staying routine is the truth - Discipline is most highest form of self love and I have to admit is difficult to keep myself in track.
6. Money is really important - Money can fulfil biological needs like food, water, warmth or cold and shelter. Money can provide safety and security. Money can genuinely help you in your relationship and finding a partner (especially for man), but taking out for a girl to date or courting. Money for maintaining relationships like activities, celebration and gifting. All these things requires money. It can open up to try new things. Self improvement requires money; music requires money; travelling requires money. Money is not my exact goal for 2021, but the goal is to spend your days as you wish.
7. Stop trying making everything perfect - Perfectionism is outdated; Getting done than perfect is the new norm.
8. No failure or mistakes in life, only lessons - I shouldn’t take it too hard when sometimes messed up. Learn, move on and forgive yourself!
9. Stop being a giver - Every single time I gave more than receiving, I am teaching them that is okay and teaching them how to treat you; I know being a giver is great thing, but is something that a lot of people subconsciously or consciously take advantage of it. It is definitely okay to set boundaries and is okay to pull back so others can push forward for you. Boundaries without explanation is the hardest lesson for all relationship.
10. Learn to enjoy the rainy days - We keep judging the surface level of all things, but sometimes, we have to do think a little bit deeper, feel the rain and not just only get wet.
11. Is ok to change interest - There is only one life. This isn’t warmup. This is not a rehearsal. We spent so many time on things that don’t fulfilled us. Time is too short to spend on things you are not obsessed with. Have fun and enjoy the process.
12. Waiting for the perfect moment - Life is like a bike. When a bike is stationary, is wobbly; when the bike is moving, is easy to steer. I should stop waiting and start doing. Now.
13. Stop being fickle minded - There will be always consequences for you and the other party. I felt like the best approach is to follow gut feeling because is much more credible than any other sources.
14. Start investing people who invest in me - If someone is not giving the commitment, energy and the respect you deserve, you must reduce the investment that you have in that individual whether that is emotionally, mentally and financially; whatever it might be. We have to pull back and show less of yourself to the individual. Invest in relationships that bring you life and joy, but it should come natural and effortless (at the emotional level) in both ways.  
15. Overthinking is fine - There is a lot of blessing behind right one; An over thinker has already thought of every possible scenario of how things could end; An overthink overcompensates, loves hard, puts the other person before themselves, spoil the person they love, sees the best in people. Embrace and control it but always focus and take the next step.
16. Be confident - Life is too short to be scared. Take more challenges; Be blunt but empathic and helpful; I should say yes to more but say no to those offers that do not help you to works towards growth.
17. Setting proper boundaries with my parents - To be honest, I am not very clear and concise with setting boundaries with my parents so I guess I need to work on that. Boundary-setting is one of the highest form of self care and I need to get it right.
18. Writing your thoughts, ideas and experience refreshes your mind - You be surprised how far you have growth, how your thinking process has changed, or even the way you express yourself.
19. Progress looks different every day - Progress still counts even if it’s only visible to you, but it still counts even if it’s invisible to you - you may not see progress as much as others but it’s still progress.
20. I need to love how to be alone - And I need to learn how to love being alone because there is not always somebody elsewhere to pick you up. Sad truth but we born alone and die alone...
21. Mind is a real estate - Fill your head with things you matter; Why bother thinking about them when they don’t think about you? Release those thoughts and be occupied with things that you care about.

Moving forward... here are some things I need to keep in mind

• Stop checking phone every morning;
• Look before you leap but sometimes, you gotta take the leap.
• Write goals every day
• Create a strategy plan for my goals, and start executing
• Focus on learn and master the things I want to focus on
• Going against the common norm
• Be connected with weak ties
• Be humble about knowledge
• I really need to hit the gym… like really...
• Remove all distraction (turn off notification that is not work related and goal related)
• Need to be obsessed with progress
• Growth is painful; nothing is painful as staying in the place

Goals

• $500 MRR side project
• Incorporate better but consistent, easy and healthy habits into my morning and night routines
• Better relationship with food, exercise and mental health

I'll write more this year.

See you soon!